She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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