There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
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Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
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Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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