Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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