Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
