I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
