so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
