fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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