we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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