There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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