Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
