i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
