I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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