You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
