I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.