you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.