You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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