She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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