Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
