Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
