finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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