I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
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Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
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I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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