If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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