i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize