The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize