apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize