Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.

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  (724): An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god. http://tfl.nu/gzqy
  Replies (24) Good night (5440) Bad night (2304)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"

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  (425): They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!" http://tfl.nu/9fc7
  Replies (3) Good night (3471) Bad night (762)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech

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  (248): i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech http://tfl.nu/b8ee
  Replies (18) Good night (3884) Bad night (1282)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.

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  (850): And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will. http://tfl.nu/iz1b
  Replies (18) Good night (3107) Bad night (927)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.

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  (570): I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end. http://tfl.nu/kio4
  Replies (21) Good night (2763) Bad night (1374)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.

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  (859): Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke. http://tfl.nu/i77o
  Replies (8) Good night (742) Bad night (2523)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass

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  (419): I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass http://tfl.nu/s4so
  Replies (11) Good night (1813) Bad night (5161)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..

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  (503): I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions.. http://tfl.nu/v6no
  Replies (2) Good night (1891) Bad night (1096)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?

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  (270): I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today? http://tfl.nu/zwes
  Replies (5) Good night (1842) Bad night (637)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I want to take my head off and cuddle with it

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole

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  (832): I want to take my head off and cuddle with it (832): Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole http://tfl.nu/jldl
  Replies (7) Good night (1117) Bad night (592)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs

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  (519): The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs http://tfl.nu/wzfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1451) Bad night (622)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.

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  (843): Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend. http://tfl.nu/a6e8
  Replies (5) Good night (1332) Bad night (475)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?

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  (270): We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job? http://tfl.nu/b7v3
  Replies (17) Good night (1147) Bad night (667)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Did you cry?

  (518): View more from New York

  I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation

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  (480): Did you cry? (518): I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though (480): Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation http://tfl.nu/6o5r
  Replies (2) Good night (422) Bad night (408)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time

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  (724): You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time http://tfl.nu/hrwv
  Replies (1) Good night (233) Bad night (322)

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