Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.

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  (203): Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess. http://tfl.nu/gcqa
  Replies (24) Good night (666) Bad night (2748)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie

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  (816): Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie http://tfl.nu/yzwd
  Replies (11) Good night (3205) Bad night (625)
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  (646): View more from New York

  miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.

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  (646): miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god. http://tfl.nu/4rhl
  Replies (374) Good night (3405) Bad night (8782)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."

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  (208): I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing." http://tfl.nu/1ant
  Replies (26) Good night (6421) Bad night (770)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'

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  (248): my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you' http://tfl.nu/ael6
  Replies (25) Good night (2788) Bad night (5692)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"

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  (360): Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?" http://tfl.nu/c0v9
  Replies (13) Good night (9030) Bad night (1125)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.

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  (+44): You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize. http://tfl.nu/htot
  Replies (7) Good night (5393) Bad night (1356)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun

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  (315): Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun http://tfl.nu/t9ze
  Replies (20) Good night (962) Bad night (4833)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice

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  (512): Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice http://tfl.nu/6dv2
  Replies (8) Good night (3125) Bad night (778)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.

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  (954): Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway. http://tfl.nu/lib4
  Replies (12) Good night (721) Bad night (2479)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk

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  (248): The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk http://tfl.nu/s1mo
  Replies (4) Good night (829) Bad night (993)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo

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  (980): Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo http://tfl.nu/82bd
  Replies (1) Good night (975) Bad night (418)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see

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  (651): Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see http://tfl.nu/afr3
  Replies (6) Good night (1512) Bad night (405)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I

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  (214): This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I http://tfl.nu/v4qv
  Replies (7) Good night (446) Bad night (271)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.

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  (970): idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me. http://tfl.nu/gdf6
  Replies (0) Good night (259) Bad night (650)

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