ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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