I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
