i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
