i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
