Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
