can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize