That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
