Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
