come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
