16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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