youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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