U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
