i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
