the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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