Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
