the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
