I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
