you turned your livingroom into a bong?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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