Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Success! We fucked roommates!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i out mim tonsoeep
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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