Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
