i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
