LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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