Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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