I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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