Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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