There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
