woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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