New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i think i just lost a toe
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
