the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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