I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
