ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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