Dignity is for republicans.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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